Where am I

I don't know what I want out of life, something I feel all alone lord. Maybe I'm not doing something right, I've seen a lot of change can't say much of is good. Many people are gone out of my life. I thought my past mistakes where abolished yet they still haunt me. I don't know where to turn. I'm tired of feeling empty, my quest in learning and studying the word hasn't made much differences. I just want to be sure of something. What am I missing in this life equation. What life's formula can't say is happiness can't say is successes. Not In my part I never had any of that to start with. It's always been company of others, how ever I don't have that either. Explain my character please out of all this madness. What makes me lack the company of others? Am I a boring person do I treat people unfairly or am I ruthless scaring those around me. I just can't understand my action of this loneliness. I always been anti social maybe because the skills to talk to someone lack In my ability. Tesla says it's a sign of intelligentsia just fancy lingo. Not satisfied it can be me pushing everyone away with the way I am. Make believe it's just everyone around on a different frequency. 

On a different note where is all this leading me on this quest to understand all I can before I die . Still I am here awkward mode in this life.